That's exactly what I feel like I'm doing. And I keep looking from side to side trying to figure out which option is THE option. From the outside, my life looks pretty good. And in reality, it is. Yet I remain anxious and worried instead of being able to appreciate and enjoy the situation I'm in. I can name the things I have to be thankful for and I still feel like an emotional basketcase.
(rant)
I think as much as anyone else, I'm mad at myself. I continue to put myself in situations where I rely on other people to do things. My husband takes out the trash and changes the lightbulbs around here. And they both need to be done at about the same frequency. He left town for a week with all of the outside lights burned out. Now don't get me wrong, I can change a lightbulb. (There's a joke here... somewhere...) It's the fact that he knew they were burned out and chose to leave them that way when I was going to be here by myself for a week. It just rubs me the wrong way. It makes me feel insignificant.
So what'd I do? Changed the lightbulbs. Did he acknowledge that all of the lights had miraculously come back on while he was gone? No. More rubbing.
And the worst of it all is that I'm mad at myself for being mad about fucking lightbulbs...
(/rant)
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